ill-treatment from superiors and mockery from juniors, but He is soverign

despite already suffering depression, which are the effects of the rubbish borne by the juniormost sibling and dad (e.g. the visit to uk in may'10), the discomfort of going back to spore is that the household perpetuates overall depression.  in terms of the pervasive household behaviour there's likely a requirement to have to endure a cycle of  a protest behaviour before pushing the correct buttons (c.f. the juniormost sibling getting on with filthy rubbish before eventually pushing the buttons on dad to do his bidding). it might appear practical but on deeper terms it is consequently not sound for personal development because those buttons to push are immoral.  Indeed better be at peace in poverty than reap rubbish in material opulence. five members in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three (Luke 12:52).  it is possible to get back to spore only if there's a radical change in the household. but perhaps they have already hardened and have a delusion of self-congratulatory comfort.

pak tor

probly moi wld neva eva enter a marriage through the popular modern courtship process. tht's because very desirable laddies are relatively rare and it seems that whenever laddies, when they are very desirable, open up to moi. moi would panic. It's just a personal habit that is difficult to change after long brought up in a conservative chinese culture that frowns on having gurlfrens.  Then they realli desirable laddies either take offence or feel unwelcomed.  moi found that if moi dun panic, it feels naughty and wrong. in those thankfully few cases when moi dun panic, it's for the very wrong reasons, for which moi felt very ashamed of almost immediately after, thankfully. moi felt mebbe there's soomethin wrong about this shame and tried mingling around with 'naughty' guys to change moi habits but that's worse because it feels even more wrong.  One very glaringly obvious attribute they have is the absence of shame.  Shame prohibits us from doing a lot of things.  Some have less shame than others in a given situation and they move quickly in the game. the 'naughty' fellas always get the ladies.  Realise that they simply explain away a lot of very important values that's why they do not have to feel shameful. Sometymes these notty fellas have ulterior motives, using pretense to persuade em laddies.   Not sure why, but these ladies just cling onto them very hard.  they're lyke emo creatures who can be cemented to the guy when the relevant strings are pulled.   Perhaps it's no surprise since Eve simply devoured the forbidden fruit because it appears the loudest amongst the other fruits.  It's farnie laddies are configured mainly to have fun.  So that's not for me, da trendy courtship process. It will be provided, somehow. as far as moi cornscionce sayz.